Eenie Meenie ...

On my way home from the grocerystore I thought up a little rhyme. Yes, my head is full of spare time. The point is to use it during difficult decision-making. It goes like this;

Eenie, meenie, miny, moe,
who's to blame and who will fall?
I don't know, pick a call,
answer will the stupid doll.
Available is the dough,
guess you're the lucky hoe.
Eenie, meenie, miny, moe./
Eenie, meenie, miny, YOU!

Enjoy your decision-making.

Ji. ©

Breaking bad.

Some new things have occured with a few changes. School starts for example, but that's not what I had in mind to write about now. Until yesterday, everything seemed good. Yes, it SEEMED good.

I hade planned a trip to north, everything was set, except for packing. I decided to print out some maps, just in case I needed it. Then, out of nowhere, I began to do som research about the guy I was supposed to meet. I used pretty much every page I could come up with, typed the information and hit "enter". To my suprise it was as if the guy didn't existed on any site, and yet he were there on the other side of the screen. Naturally I questioned him, since I've had my suspicions for a while but still wanted it to be some sort of adventure.

Here's where it all went south. Once I told him I couldn't meet him due to lack of information about him, he called me a false bitch. That I can take, but it didn't stop there. Sadly he wanted to end everything. Permanently. Like I was the only one left who kept him alive. He told me a bit about his background a while ago and when I did some research, how can you be sure what's true and what's not? Everything comes with a risk.

Last night I went to bed, wrapped myself in a thick layer of guilt and wondered if the consequence of my choice cost him his life. I never wanted him to die. Never, and without any information at all, I will never know if he did it or not. I'm left with nothing but wondering and imagine, the good and the bad.

Ji. ©

Define "Good"?

Every now and then you get a compliment about how nice you are and even sweet. At this point, its pretty much original. The more you use it the more it looses its meaning and in the end, something you just say to have something to say at all.

I don't know how many times I've been told I'm good, sweet and occassionally cute. Which makes me believe I am a good person, with a good heart, and yet I'm on my own. Which makes me wonder if I'm actually good or simply just not good enough.

So what defines if someone is good? Right now, I'm lacking any thoughts on the subject. Would you give me a piece of your mind?

Where's the line? Where does it goes from good to not good enough?

Ji. ©