Freedom of Speech

After I've randomly read some bloggs and watched a few videos, I noticed one - among many - common nominators. "Yttrandefrihet i Sverige" which is "Freedom of Speech in Sweden" in english, being used all the time.
I thought that I should reflect a little bit on that subject. I'm no expert when it comes to laws and such but this is what I know and think.
Freedom of Speech is one of Swedens four constitutions. Which means that every individual is allowed to have an opinion and - most importantly - express it.
You're allowed to have an opinion - Yes. You are allowed to express it - Yes. Now, this is were everything falls apart. The matter on HOW you express it. Feel free to express what you feel and think - as long as it doesn't offend other groups of people. Such as race, ethnicity, sexual orientation etc. in the form of insults, harsh words or any form of intention to harm or specifically attack one individual - or a whole group.
Basic stuff one should know, yet there are people who uses that constitution right but in the wrong way/ circumstances. Which could possibly lead to a whole lot of damage - both physically and mentally - that one, or more, could have avoided if the opinions weren't expressed in a sloppy way.
Everyone, in Sweden, know that they have their right to speak their mind - fine, but everyone either forgets, or ignores, the part on how you express it. If you think about the words to use in order to express your opinion - there's a bigger chance that you could avoid a fist fight or another form of confrontation you'd rather forget.
Ji. ©

Turn Up the Radio

Today was our first day in the radio studio - sending LIVE!

We've had some practice before but this time, people would listen. It was fun and because of tomorrow's date, our theme for the day was love. Playing some old love songs from the past like;

Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing
Bon Jovi - Bed of Roses
Whitney Houston - I Have Nothing
Backstreet Boys - All I Have to Give
and many more ...

We had a whole hour to both talk and play around the subject of love. Next week we'll send again but with a different theme - what? I will not tell.

Sending Live to you every wednesday at 4.30pm straight from Radio Eskilstuna 92,7. With a new theme - and surprise, every week. Enjoy!

Ji. ©

American Idol S11

I know I'm late in watching the show but I had forgotten about it since the last season. I haven't followed the show since season 1 - I started att season 10. Only because I heard Jennifer Lopez was going to be one of the judges, I just had to watch. Along with Steven Tyler, I think they we're the perfect judges - even though I don't know who where before them.

When the "Idols" from the previous season appeard, I hit the search button on my computer and found some good songs they had released - along with Colton Dixon. I think that Jessica Sanchez is the new, and young, Beyoncé. She's going to be big - if she keeps it up. I also think that she should have won instead of Phillip Phillips.

I watched the first episode of the new season, and, haha! Seriously? Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey? I had no idea Mariah had such "diva" attitude. Not to mention that they are now four judges. How is that going to work out? Personally, I don't think Nicki should be there - since she hasn't been in the business so long. Besides, I've heard that she uses vocal synchronizer - or something like that. The same I heard about Enrique Iglesias.

Ji. ©

Nugget Among Rocks

This whole week, I walked the streets with a smile and - for a change - it felt good. Although the weekend had a few surprises in store that I didn't see coming, even though I should.

Last Monday evening, I met someone who felt nice. We decided to meet up again the day after, that's when we agreed to start dating - it was good. It was then he told me I was a nugget among rocks. The following days we met and enjoyed each others company and an invitation was accepted, to spend the weekend together. It started with kisses but ended in scars and lies.

He spoke about being honest and all, yet he could not deliever it. Today he texted me what was going on, and before I knew what to reply - I was out of his life. Just like that!

Now, I have to heal and give myself a break. Otherwise, I'll fall apart.

Ji. ©

Beautifully Lonely

It is said that sadness is beautiful and loneliness is tragical. Which I can agree on to a certain point where sadness is, practically based on loneliness. THAT is a tragic story.

What I don't get is when loneliness is mixed with beauty. How is it possible that there can be so many beautiful people - in this case based on appearance - and still they are single and alone. That is a thought of train that leads to a migrane in my head. What is worse is when there are beautiful people - at heart - and they are not lonely, they are completely shut out, more or less. Because they lack that one "trait" that calls for beauty in appearance, due to the possibility that they have it placed somewhere else.

"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder." I just hope there are people enough for everyone.

The world has proven to become more and more tougher to live in, and that is the hardest part.

Ji. ©

It's All In the Balance.

Here we go! All this nonsene/crap/word popping has gone, just about, too far once again.

Just hear me out. All this talk about black vs. white - race, did reach its limit about 10 years ago. Yes, I'm not very in with todays chit-chat when it comes to the subject BUT I assume it's just like when it first came about. Only this time it's with some new-found arguments and more anger. Ladies and gentlemen, the arena is open!

Everybody knows the fact that everyone is different, and for some, that is a blessing. While others seems to oppose that statement in some sort of a competition. It's okey to be different but when some one else comes along and is more different - in a "better" way, the competition begins, you change yourself and everything goes wrong.

I'm neutral when it comes to race and color since I see both sides point of view, even if I don't always agree on the opinions that are expressed. Todays people have only one thing in common interest, and that is to complain. And with Internet, we can spread that complain out in the open to pretty much everybody. Which causes a major uproar, on both sides - against and agree. When we have established the source of the complains, changes is what is to be expected later - or rather, right away. Although, when it does come, it is not what we had hoped for and thus causing even more complains.
Perfection is a state of mind, not physical. That's how I see it anyway. "I accept that you exist, but it doesn't mean I have to like you." Words I came up with a few years ago and follow and it applies to all.

Further more, I'd like to quote Tomb Raider "Nature is about balance. All the world comes in pairs. Yin and Yang. Right and Wrong. Men and Women. What's pleasure without pain." The point is that we need everything, even the opposites. We don't know what's up if we don't have down. The same goes with everything else.
With the increasing population, nature is pretty much out of the picture - and with it, balance. So we could say that we are one step closer to total chaos. End of the world? For real this time? Maybe.

Ji. ©

To the Big C and Back.

The weekend was spent in Stockholm - the Capital C. The main topic was a secret celebration for a young girl who's coming in to her 20's. Such a sweet friend and a beautiful heart.

We surprised her with a party and gave her gifts that brought her to tears. The tears of joy are beautiful to watch, where an individual can't tell how happy she is but instead physically express it - in the form of tears.
We stayed up very late in the night until we all had to go home and get some sleep. Unfortunately, that was not the case in "my" group.

Saturday was spent in downtown for some small shopping in a japanese district. Bought some curry and two new sticks - my very first, I might add. Met some friends while waiting for others and in the evening we came together and watched two movies I've never seen before - Kill Bill 1+2.

Sunday, the day some of us went back home. Before that we said our goodbyes to some of our friends, headed to downtown, spent some time there and my cousin had a really, really short "date" - say 15-20 minutes. She had to leave and catch her train and then he left which meant I got time to spend with the birthday girl herself. Woho! - Yes, I was actually happy about it! We had fun, walking, looking in stores, talking, eating and then played a game called Dragdoll Masters - I think - which she had on her computer. It was so fun, we laughed almost to tears and for a moment, it felt like no one was there but us. Wonderful. As always, though, reality comes knocking and we had to depart to our different trains.

It may not sound much but it was great - I am emotionally pleased with this weekend. If only the year could have started with this weekend instead of and old-fashioned cold.

Ji. ©

One Piece = Pull Yourself Together?


Like the majority of the world's population, I officially have my own one piece.
It's cosy, big and the color somewhat reminds me of the Chesire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.

What I don't really understand is the second zipper down under. It is just hanging between your legs and doing what? Taking a phone call? If its for the bathroom function, I get it, but what about the rest of the day? That thing will annoy me to pieces, but hey, I can always use the second zipper and pull myself together right over the top.

Ji. © 

Catching up!

It's been around three months since I last published something here. Things have gone up and down - among others, my birthday. I've been thinking a lot about what to actually write in these empty pages.
School is almost over for this semester, I will not do the final exam on my law course since I forgot to register for it.  The beauty of stupidity, so I will patiently sit and wait for the re-test to occur and have my shot then. While waiting, I'm hoping I will get a spot in the Rhethoric A-course in another city. That would be just lovely.

Christmas was nice, spent it with my cousin - alone, and nothing else was needed. We even did a youtube clip - hello humiliation! Had a sing-a-long, watched some gothic movies, exchanged gifts and then Doctor Who.
New Years Eve was spent home, until the stroke of midnight. Went out and found some friends and came home around 5 pm. Three days later, like everyone else, I caught a lovely kiss - he was called "a cold", Soar throat, some sneezing, no strenght, a troubled nose and I was pretty much out.

At the moment I'm feeling much better than last week and I'm going away on Friday. See some old friends in the big C - that will be just great.

Ji. ©

I dream.

I am one of those who take long bathroom breaks, and people sometimes wonder what I do that takes so much time. Here's an answer; I think and I dream. Thinking up speeches for the rigth occasions that really feels. This time I came up with this.

I give you a rosebud. I know it's not in full bloom of a rose and that's because I'm not fully grown.
'Til this point I have come far but I still have a lot to learn.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep last night was your kiss. I've never felt so visible in my life, it felt like I was supposed to be there and I'm happy I was. This morning, I woke up to the first rays of sunshine and saw them melt on the face of an Angel, I was still happy. I fell in love.

Tonight is our third date together, with good friends of yours that I find inspiring.
Before you, I knew my gift in this world but I was working on believing in it. My gift is what I share with you, your friends, and the rest of the world. We have a word for it, its called; Passion.

I was suspicious when I first met you. I thought you were too good to be true, but you convinced me that believing in my gift couldn't be more right.
I'd be blessed if I got the chance to grow along side a pure heart like yours.
(Name), I'd love to be your boyfriend.

Ji. ©

Eenie Meenie ...

On my way home from the grocerystore I thought up a little rhyme. Yes, my head is full of spare time. The point is to use it during difficult decision-making. It goes like this;

Eenie, meenie, miny, moe,
who's to blame and who will fall?
I don't know, pick a call,
answer will the stupid doll.
Available is the dough,
guess you're the lucky hoe.
Eenie, meenie, miny, moe./
Eenie, meenie, miny, YOU!

Enjoy your decision-making.

Ji. ©

Breaking bad.

Some new things have occured with a few changes. School starts for example, but that's not what I had in mind to write about now. Until yesterday, everything seemed good. Yes, it SEEMED good.

I hade planned a trip to north, everything was set, except for packing. I decided to print out some maps, just in case I needed it. Then, out of nowhere, I began to do som research about the guy I was supposed to meet. I used pretty much every page I could come up with, typed the information and hit "enter". To my suprise it was as if the guy didn't existed on any site, and yet he were there on the other side of the screen. Naturally I questioned him, since I've had my suspicions for a while but still wanted it to be some sort of adventure.

Here's where it all went south. Once I told him I couldn't meet him due to lack of information about him, he called me a false bitch. That I can take, but it didn't stop there. Sadly he wanted to end everything. Permanently. Like I was the only one left who kept him alive. He told me a bit about his background a while ago and when I did some research, how can you be sure what's true and what's not? Everything comes with a risk.

Last night I went to bed, wrapped myself in a thick layer of guilt and wondered if the consequence of my choice cost him his life. I never wanted him to die. Never, and without any information at all, I will never know if he did it or not. I'm left with nothing but wondering and imagine, the good and the bad.

Ji. ©

Define "Good"?

Every now and then you get a compliment about how nice you are and even sweet. At this point, its pretty much original. The more you use it the more it looses its meaning and in the end, something you just say to have something to say at all.

I don't know how many times I've been told I'm good, sweet and occassionally cute. Which makes me believe I am a good person, with a good heart, and yet I'm on my own. Which makes me wonder if I'm actually good or simply just not good enough.

So what defines if someone is good? Right now, I'm lacking any thoughts on the subject. Would you give me a piece of your mind?

Where's the line? Where does it goes from good to not good enough?

Ji. ©

Cry myself to sleep.

Tears, the indication of the sadness that occurs in our lives but occationaly of joy. This context is not for the latter.

Sadness, one of the negative emotions. The lower regions, or the beginning, of grief. Just like all the other emotions, sadness comes with a punch right at your core, and it strikes hard. Everyone knows the words "sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical" by Backstreet Boys' hit Shape of My Heart. There's a fine line between sadness and loneliness and in an artistic way sadness could be beautiful but it doesn't mean the emotion in itself is.

A loss causes sad, or grief, depending on the situation and the burden of coming back to ones everyday life is too much to handle. When you lose something, naturally, you lose a apart of yourself with it. Causing a void in your being, or heart, an empty hole that your mind directly sets on the mission to filling it. But overlooking the part were you're supposed to be dealing and later, accepting.

You're sad because you are broken, you're not complete. Either you lost something that meant more to you than you thought or you lack something that have the potentional to make you whole. Dealing with that causes one's everyday life to be harder. You're constantly reminded of what do not have, or do not have anymore.

You are allowed to cry, but you're also allowed to heal. You only know what you had once you've lost it but, at that point, its supposed to be too late. Supposed.

Did you know that crying doesn't effect you emotionally but also physically? When you cry, the channels below your eyes, that produces tears begin to work and the muscles in your face contracts. You also get a fast breathing, increased pulse and a sense of exhaustion. Your entire body is working, like you're running a marathon. Except for the lack of running, unless you're being chased. So its natural that you feel tired and exhaustion when you cry, you're using energy, and thus giving the meaning that one can literally cry yourself to sleep.

You may cry, you may break down and the whole world is unfair but one thing is for sure. It won'r last forever.

Ji. ©

You miss one tiny detail ...

... And the whole world treats you like an idiot!

What exactly makes an idiot to begin with? Is it his/her action of doing something wrong while believing its the right thing to do? Or is it the comment from someone who don't quiet understand the context of a conversation? Or a combination of both?

Is it truly possible to measure intelligence in every brain of every individual? We are all different, yes we are, for those who might have doubted it for a second. My intellectual strength is someone else's weakness and vice versa. There are also possible to be equally smart but intelligence doesn't defy if someone is an idiot. The people who are behind in development, stuck in a wheelchair, dyslexia and so on, are just as smart as anyone else. The only difference is that these people have something that prevents them from fulfilling their intellectual level to the max. They've adapted, either by choice or by force but that doens't make them stupid, only prevented.

Issues around an individual or more can cause a person to act and behave in an unusual way. Reflect the issues their surrounded by and, possibly, to the get attention. To be seen, heard and appreciated. No one is an idiot without a reason.

You make mistakes and just because of it, the odds of being called "idiot" are guaranteed. If you don't believe, then go and check out for yourself.

Ji. ©

Where art thou, Romeo?

For starters, scratch "Romeo" and take it from the top.

Every once in a while a random persons drop you a message, or five, in order to start a conversation. But seriously, it's not gonna be much of a conversation and everyone knows that by now. You get it either on an app in your phone, computer or maybe by actually using your mailbox. The last one would be weird though since he/she/they just used it and already know your location. It's like what we say in swedish, "jag vet vart din brevlåda bor."

Usually, on the third message, you get the unavoidable question in all its forms, where are you? Hopefully not at the samt time, that would just be annoying. He or she wants to know your secret location of privacy and, well, your bed. After three messages, or maybe even less, he/she probably wants to drop you a visit. Assumingly. Prepare for the worst? Check!

If you choose to tell them where you live then, hopefully, you've had a chance at a real conversation, not the hook-up version. If you don't, there's a chance you'll never get rid of him/her. You don't just tell them where you live, you also reaveal a weak spot in your own place of security. It's the No 1 rule to feel safe in your own home, its your own sanctuary. If you don't feel safe then you've got to do something about it. Either way, its not really comforting to keep in mind that everyone and anyone can find you. Anytime and anywhere, thanks to downside of the Internet.

"Where are you?/ Where do you live?" Does this question sounds desperate? It does to me, after a while. Tell them where you live after, what, five minutes of "conversation"? It's like kiss and tell, a question I don't view as a bedtime story. 

Ji. ©


The first thing we use when we walk down the streets of society. Everywhere we go, we always have a thought, or two or fifteen, about the people we interact. Becuase we like to put people in categories, apparently.

"A stereotype is a belief that may be adopted about specific types of individuals or certain ways of doing things, but that belief may or may noy accurately reflect reality. However, this is only a fundamental psychological definition of a stereotype." - Wikipedia.

We have - Sports, Nerds, Street, Goth, Rocker, Brunette, Blondes, LGBT, Religious, Outcast, Flower Power and, yeah, you name it.

All of these stereotypes that circles the globe have, or is supposed, act a certain way to interact with the rest of the world.
Blondes - shallow with no use of intelligence. 
Street - attitude problem but small on the ground. 
Gays - sprakling pink with rainbows.
Sportsmen and cheerleaders that are genetically programed for each other. Show-offs!
Religious - physcial attraction is a sin, even though humans partly rely on phycisal contact.
Couples - the people who have been together since, who knows when, and are "destined" to be together. Will have the fairytale package but in the end, they are desperate for a foundation to grow on.

Some stereotypes live on rock hard due the fact that we, as kids, are hardwired to learn these things so we know which people to sit with during lunch at school and which type to avoid on the bus on our way home from work on a thursday night.
If you want to be placed in a category, then be my guest. Because you already are and so am I, along with the rest of the planet, but it won't give you any hand in work interviews. If you tell your future boss/es that you were an all star athlet in high school, it might tell them everything about you, a bit or nothing at all whatsoever.
Is there a logical reason why we have stereotypes or is it just a disfunction in our desire to organize. Whom shall sit with whom and where. Perhaps a display of thought-to-reality progress, what you think, you say and it happens. What would happen if we didn't have stereotypes or maybe when the stereotype system falls apart. What do we do then? Probably press "reinstall".

Ji. ©


One of the many things we learn in kindergarden. Expand our social skills to the outside world from our family lives.

Friends. The other individuals you learn to talk to and communicate through different languages. Speech, body and emotional. They are the ones we choose to involve in our lives, whenever we are feeling down or happy. We play together and tell stories about ourselves that's outside the family circle. We bond becuase we have one crucial point incommon. Likeness.

They say that friends are the family you choose. That may sound good in theory but doesn't quiet work in practice. Family are the group of individuals that stays with you until death says otherwise. Friends, on the other hand, come and go as they please. Pretty much anyway. So how can they be the family we choose if the friendship is almost fragile and they eventually leave?

To me, friends are friends. Yes, even similar to a family but if one, or many, decides to move on. Then they are out. There's no chance nor something for them to come back to. They chose to leave and therefore, they are gone. The same rules apply to all aswell as myself. If I choose to leave someone, then I'm not coming back and that's final.

Sounds harsh but even I have to protect myself, body, mind and heart. Sort of "friends forever" attitude, until someone, or more, decides to quit.

Ji. ©


It is not the energy that drives the competitor nor is it the wood that feeds the fire, but passion.
The inner desire that drives the heart and releases the soul. Passion makes the winner and winner equals success.

Passion, the key word to life. To live. Doing something that makes your heart content, releasing all that is you to the world. Energized. Naked. Free. There is no such thing as rules and logic when it comes to passion. It is just that. Passion. Pure, strong and an unsatisfied drive to become. It's intimate, intense like fire and it takes your breath away. Never let your passion die out, it's a completely unnecessary action and the only one who'll lose, is you.

When you do the thing you love the most, what makes you balanced, relaxed and importantly free, you are at your peak of your potential. You can always improve but the passion stays the same. Hot, glowing and always there to burn. Combine your fiery passion with your entire being and there's no stopping you. The world, and its inhabitants, will try. Test you, but when you wants something, always have a plan B and an ever bigger desire to be better.

There will always be people out there to tell what you can't do and what you can't be. Let them have their way, because I'm sure that they themselves have their own passion in question. Doing the thing that makes you tick, you're free. When you reveal your heart in your work of art, that's passion. It's by living out our soul that we become what we've always dreamt of, becoming what we were born to do. Change the world in your own image.

You were born for this. Your gift is your passion!

Ji. ©

Likes me, likes me not?

Flower fortune. A seed of wonder or a petal of false hopes?

Well, for starters, you don't really know for sure. That's the uncertainty of human attraction, you simply don't know if the feelings will be returned. Everyone is different, that's the beauty, and point, of being one of a kind. So how can you really tell if someone's in to you? The first thing that comes to my mind is attention. How much attention and effort is he/she giving you and along with it, learn to separate usual behaviour from that little extra. If someone is giving you a little more, or a whole ocean, of attention than usual, there's a certain guarantee that there's something going on in his/her head, wether it be good or bad. Chances are, there's a passion in his/her heart that awaits to be released or a scheme to be put into action.

There's a reason, or two, why no one is going around and spilling their emotional bagage. Humiliation and Rejection. It's one thing to tell someone in secret that you have feelings for this person. There's entirely another when there's a bunch of people all around. Like the phrase, "two's company, three's a crowd." (A third person spoils the ideal combination of a couple).

The opposite of humiliation is pride, and everyone has it. It is due to your pride that you take emotional matterns into private spaces. To minimize the damage that could come with your intentions. Rejection. The downside of your upside.
It is a little bit easier to deal with a rejection when there's only two people knowing about it, you and that special one, until the words get out. Maybe it isn't so bad if the words got out but its not exacly healing either to hear it day after day. To do it in a crowd takes guts but also a form of suicide. A scenario would be that everyone laughs at you, but then, are they laughing at you directly or that you're being sincere?
Either way, taking a blow to the heart feels more than a physical wound and you need time to recover. The best part is that it's not forever even though the moment feels that way.

If you told someone how you felt about him/her, then you've won the first round. Congratulate yourself, there are people out there who don't dare to this kind of thing. Instead they're stuck in something else. Regret. Thinking how things would be if they made a different choice than what actually happened.

Love is a risk, take a chance and dare.
"Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game." - Another Cinderella Story.

Ji. ©

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